The following exercise is not meant to create or test a personality disorder. Quite the contrary, it is to become aware of the different core values that are driving us. Very often these values are contradictory, which means they work against each other.
Imagine that you would consist of several identities that live inside you. Give them a name and age. Try to feel and describe them in the most pure way. Exaggerate a little to carve their personalities, make them even funny. Your aspects can be both genders and completely contradictory.
Furthermore, it is important to see these aspects as charge neutral, neither good nor bad. The only important question is: “Are they resonating strongly with me?”.
The following people are living inside me:
- Carl is a very cool and attractive guy in his end 40s. He is driving a 600cc Endure bike and a jeep, he is regularly jogging and keeping himself fit. He is earning quite some money from his own business, and wearing cool clothes from an outfit consultant. His best pieces are his leather jacket, the cowboy shoes and black Ray-ban sunglasses. He wants to be successful, rich and respected. He hates uncertainty and failure and can become very loud and direct when he is angry. Carl has a girlfriend and a son and is living in a stylish apartment in a famous city.
- Miro is a 70 year old artist, living a simple life on a rural farm in Spain. He doesn’t care about clothes and mostly wears his work-dress and a french hat. He is easy-going and slow. He has a wife and children, but they live far away. Even though he is alone most of the day, there are often people around him that visit his atelier or come for a short chat. Women feel attracted by him, and he is still having sex with several affairs, but he prefers staying on his own. He likes to go to the small village to play cards or backgammon on the street in front of a coffeeshop. He gets up quite early and he is working a lot on his various sculptures and art. His gardens are full with them. He is warm and friendly to his friends, but often harsh and affected to strangers that he doesn’t like. He is drinking quite some beer and single malt whiskey, and sometimes playing guitar with his friends. He has got a dog and is planting veggies behind the house.
- Eric “into the wild” is a 29 year old wild and independent person. His most important value is freedom, and he likes adventure and dangerous activities like free diving, bungee jumping or kitesurfing. He doesn’t care about anything, wears clothes that he finds in second hand shops and is driving around in a camper van, sometimes joining spontaneously into other communities. He is playing guitar and singing sometimes in a band. He loves to live in the south, and he has a lot of affairs with all kinds of women.
- Agata is a 30 year old power woman, managing the marketing department of a big multinational company. She is very communicative, driven, and never satisfied with the status quo. She learned how to lead groups, speak in front of a lot of people and she is communicating her feelings openly. She likes nice clothes and loves to go out to a nice bar, concert, or to a theatre. She is married to a successful man, no kids. They don’t have much time with each other, but communicative intensively and support each other.
- Gabriel is a very sensitive and spiritual person. He likes to read books and watch movies about spirituality. He loves connecting deeply with other people in 1:1 talks or on retreats and family constellations. He can easily connect to his higher spirit and he feels energy. He likes to write and teach about spiritual exercises and awakening, but he is also affected and tends to escape from a confrontation with an unwanted truth.
- Peter is a 25 year old living in a cheap flat. He wears second hand clothes and has little self-esteem. He is studying on university and doing small jobs to survive. He is reading personal growth bestsellers and often trying to get rich fast, but never succeeding. Peter is a very poetic and romantic person. He likes to suffer from love romances and turn these feelings into songs or poems. He is also making recycling objects. But most of the time he is depressed, sitting around and watching movies. He is going to bed late and getting up at 11 am. He likes to engage in social campaigns and rescue the world.
- Write down your own aspects.
- Imagine that they come together as a group. How would they behave with each other, for example making a trip together? What would they say to each other? What would be typical sayings? Add the sayings to the aspects.
- What are the core values of your aspects? Add them to the description, and extract them from their behaviors and typical sayings.