The inner saboteur could be most easily described as an energy that keeps you from doing something new. Every time you feel a new way, excitement, and the enthusiasm from which new goals are arising, you question your usual way of living. You are moving out of your comfort zone into the stretching zone. You are taking a risk, putting yourself into danger. Even if its just being laughed at, or losing a day of your time, you are becoming already insecure. Doubts arise like: “Is it really the right thing? What will others say? If I do it this way, then a lot of problems and challenges will come up.” Instead of doing the more painful way your heart tells you, you become extremely busy with something else (substitutional acts), like eating, working, doing a lot of things, and of course … excessive thinking.
You are denying your hearts dream by giving a lot of attention to thoughts like: “Its not reasonable because …” (rationalizations), “I don’t have a problem. Everyhting is basically allright” (minimizing, denial). Or you fall with your thoughts into negative beliefs that can become even painful self-accusations: “I never can do it right”, “I am not good enough”, “I dont have enough support”, “I am too old”, … Very likely you also project your pain into other people: “This guy is always thinking negatively, acting egoisticly, ..” (projection)
The energy of the inner saboteuer starts with an inspiration from your heart and develops into a lot of actions and rational excuses why you have to remain in your comfort zone.
Why is the Inner Saboteuer there? What does he want?
The reason for this nasty behavior is not that he wants to hurt you and keep you away from a happy life. Exactly the opposite is the case. The saboteur is a very old program that sits extremly deep and secures our basic survival.
When we come into this world, we are not able to survive on our own for many years. We are dependent on our group, especially our parents. Surveys show that babies, in order to be accepted and nourished, start to imitate othes already during pregnancy. They listen to the mother’s voice, and after they are born, they imitate her voice when they cry.
In the same way a young human also imitates all kinds of behaviour – which means that children often have to let go of what their heart says, and who they truly are, and adopt to the cold reality of the group. This conflict is the birth hour of the inner saboteur. He is the loud voice of the past, telling us to stick to the groups habits and beliefs – even when we are already grown up, and the members of the original group are not present any more.
How to deal with your inner saboteur
First, the fact that you are reading this website shows that you are willing to overcome any kinds of limitations that keep you from living the life of your dreams. You are on a good way!
1. Recognize the saboteur
The best start in your new relationship with the saboteur is to recognize him as often as possible.
Recognize when you are falling into old patterns like projecting, rationalizations, denial and substitutional acts. See when you point your finger at others, when you find all kind of excuses or get busy with something you don’t really like to do.
2. Acknowledge your saboteur
The next step in your new relationship is to say yes to his presence. There once was a very good reason to defend passive and comfortable behaviour. He probably saved our lives, and made it possible for us to become what we are today. You can even say thank you to your Inner Saboteur for guiding you such a long way!
3. Go on a quest
You don’t need to deny and fight all negative beliefs – this will just increase their pressure and power on you.
Go on a serious quest with yourself and ask if they are really really true. More in this article about working with negative beliefs.
Ask yourself honestly if the original inspiration of your heart wouldn’t be the better choice.
Do whatever you find out in front of your true self.
Your Inner saboteur will never leave you, because his goal is to secure your basic survival. Instead of fighting him, show him repeatedly, after serious inquiry, that you CAN DO IT. Find out about the dreams of your heart, act, prioritize, synergize, overcome obstacles, and GIVE YOUR BEST.
Strengthen the TRUST into yourself by successfully following your inner truth, and the Inner Sabateur will change from a big monster into a powerful personal guard.